Sunday September 17, 2017
Forgiven Sinners
Boyet's eyes were sparkling as he sat beside me. He was beside himself with joy and I asked him why.
"It was only this morning," he said, "that I came to realize that my parents really love me." Boyet, a social worker and fifth child of a family of twelve, went on to tell me his story. All of the children in the family had done well in school and were no great problem except for Ramon. When Ramon was in the first year of high school he was reported to his parents for cutting classes and he failed in many subjects. Due to the pleading of his parents he had been readmitted to the school only to be sent out two years later for bad behavior. Eventually, he was enrolled in another school and graduated high school but was sent out from his first year of college because he was caught taking drugs. His parents had taken him to a rehabilitation center. For years it was a case of in-again out-again with the parents defending him from the attacks of others and pleading for him at different institutions. Two years ago he had settled down to study seriously and had graduated this morning, aged 32, after ten years in college. "As I was present at the ceremony," Boyet said with tears in his eyes, "it suddenly struck me how much my parents loved me. If I had been Ramon they would have done the same for me! They would have forgiven me and forgiven me and tried to get me going again and again until eventually it would have worked."
The insecure Peter, as usual looking for approval, asks in today's Gospel, "Lord, how often must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me; as often as seven times?" Seven times seemed to be a very generous number and he expected to get a clap on the back for it because he knew that Jesus put a high priority on forgiveness. But Jesus answered, "Not seven, I tell you, but seventy times seven times." And he went on to tell a parable story about a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. As usual the parable, which is designed to subvert our usual way of thinking, is grossly exaggerated. A servant owes his king 10,000 talents which is ten times the annual income of the king. When he cannot pay, the king orders that he and his family be put in prison to pay the debt. The man asks for mercy and his debt is forgiven. Now the servant goes out and meets another servant who owes him a hundred denarii - the wage of a laborer for a hundred days. When his fellow servant cannot pay he seized him by the throat and began to throttle him. "Pay what you owe me," he said. His fellow servant fell on his knees and implored him, saying, "Give me time and I will pay you." But the other would not agree. On the contrary, he had him thrown into prison till he should pay the debt. His fellow servants were deeply distressed when they saw what had happened, and they went to the master and reported the whole affair to him. Then the master sent for him. "You, wicked servant," he said, "I canceled all the debt of yours when you appealed to me. Were you not bound then to have pity on your fellow servant as I had pity on you?"
So there in a nutshell is the teaching of Jesus about forgiveness. Why do we forgive others? We forgive others because we ourselves are forgiven sinners. We do not forgive because we are commanded to do so. We forgive because we have been forgiven and in being forgiven we know that we are loved. When we know that we are loved we can love others and we in turn show it by forgiving them.
Peter himself was one of the great examples of this principle. During the lifetime of Jesus, Peter was hungry for his affection and constantly spoke up and protested his loyalty in an effort to attain approval. But, he failed again and again, and particularly at the trial he denied Jesus three times. Yet when Jesus met him after the resurrection he accepted him and love and just said, "Shalom" (peace). Some days later Jesus gave Peter a test. "Do you," he asked him, "love me more than all of these others do?" The old Peter would undoubtedly have answered, "Yes, of course Lord. I love you ten times more than all of them put together." But not now: The forgiven Peter knows that he is loved and so he has no need to be in competition with others. "You know that I love you," he answered. It was as if he were saying, "I love you because I know that you love me. If others love you more than I do, that is great. The only important thing is that I know that you love me, and I know that from the way in which you forgave me."
Judas also betrayed Jesus. Knowing the type of person Jesus was, there is do doubt that he would also have forgiven Judas. But Judas could not accept forgiveness and committed suicide. Everyone who cannot accept forgiveness locks himself or herself into the past and in a sense commits suicide. They carry with them the hurts of the past - the hurts done to them or their own failures - and are so burdened that they cannot accept the joys of the present moment. In a sense one of the most selfish things we can do is to forgive. It is doubtful if the other person will even know that we have forgiven, but we ourselves will be set free by doing so. The great difference between Jesus and the Pharisees, the religious leaders of his time, was that he wanted to set people free from their past. The Pharisees labeled people with their past - prostitutes, tax collectors, sinners - but Jesus reverenced people in the present and gave them the capacity to love themselves again and to be good again.
If we now ourselves we will know our own selfishness and the tendency of our egos to use our strengths and weaknesses to get the better of others. If we know ourselves, we can observe this process with a certain sense of humor and forgive ourselves again and again. If we know ourselves in this way we will not belittle others. We will look at their sins and foibles with love and a capacity to forgive. St. Teresa of Avila said that awareness of our own sinfulness is the bread - or rice - that accompanies all levels of spiritual growth. Just as we take rice with all meals in the Philippines whether in a barrio hut or a five-star hotel, so the awareness that we are forgiven sinners is an ingredient for every level of spiritual life.
Meditation is a way of prayer that keeps us in touch with our own weakness and sinfulness. As we try to say the prayer word or mantra for 20 to 30 minutes each day and continue to fail to do it, we are kept humble. But as we continue in this practice we become more observant of our egos - the part of us that wants to be like God - and, like Satan, not to submit to him. In that moment of observing we have the opportunity to choose to resist or submit to the tyranny of sinfulness within us. We have an opportunity to set ourselves free from the past and to start to live again anew.
What Boyet experienced in seeing the forgiving love of his parents, what Peter and may others experienced in the forgiving love of Jesus, we too can experience if we are willing to accept that all of us are forgiven sinners.
